In a world teetering on the edge of chaos, it's comforting to know that some governments have taken a stand - against prolonged hugs. New Zealand’s latest act of legal ingenuity has decreed that goodbye embraces at some of their airports mustn’t exceed three minutes, lest an overzealous farewell throw traffic into disarray.
A lingering cuddle, it seems, is the modern menace, the real enemy within that needed reining in. So, if you’re planning on squeezing a loved one at Dunedin airport’s drop-off zone, keep it brief - or take it to the car park. Because time is ticking, and there’s a bureaucrat somewhere with a stopwatch.
This newfound obsession with policing affection got us thinking - what other absurd regulations are floating around the globe, lying in wait like time bombs ready to detonate at the first sign of unsanctioned joy? Laws that make us stop and ask ourselves, “Is this really necessary?” Perhaps somewhere out there, there's a town where you’re fined for wearing mismatched socks, or a village where whistling after sundown constitutes a felony. It’s hard to say for sure, but the truth, as we are reminded nearly every day, is far stranger than fiction.
In a blog post from June of 2023 we looked at some absurd laws still on the books across the USA. Today we’re going global. As we dive into the legal absurdities scattered across the world, it does seem that the architects of these laws may have been indulging in one too many bureaucratic happy hours. From bans on handling salmon "suspiciously" to countries that regulate waistlines, these strange ordinances offer a glimpse into the twisted - and often hilarious - logic of lawmaking gone awry. Buckle up, because it’s going to be a bumpy ride through the land of red tape and ridiculousness.
Rome’s Goldfish Bowl Ban: In the city of Rome, it’s illegal to keep goldfish in a round bowl. The logic? It’s apparently cruel to the fish, as the curved glass supposedly gives them a distorted view of reality, causing undue stress.
Roman law apparently attempts to ensure that even a goldfish’s world, though small, is as clear as possible.
France’s Pig-Naming Rule: Naming your pig “Napoleon” in France is a no-go. The French law, aiming to protect the sanctity of the nation’s most famous leader, forbids it. So, if you’re in France and thinking of welcoming a pig into your life, you might want to get a bit creative with the name - “Bacon” is always a safe bet!
No High Heels in the Ruins: In Greece, leave the stilettos at home if you’re visiting any ancient sites. High heels are banned to prevent damage to the delicate ruins. Which raises the question: who goes to visit ancient ruins in high heels?
No Reincarnation Without Permission in China: Yes, you read that correctly. While the idea of controlling reincarnation sounds like something out of a dystopian novel, in China, it's very real. Tibetan Buddhist monks are forbidden from reincarnating without official government approval. If a monk wishes to shuffle off this mortal coil and return in a new body, he'd better get the paperwork sorted first.
Ugly Not Allowed in Wallonia: In Wallonia, Belgium, beauty isn’t just in the eye of the beholder - it’s in the hands of local authorities. The region has laws that ban the construction of "ugly" buildings, making it one of the few places where aesthetic taste has been legislated. What constitutes ugliness, however, is rather subjective and left to the discerning judgment of bureaucrats who apparently moonlight as architecture critics.
No Dying Allowed: In Longyearbyen, Norway, death is more of a suggestion than an inevitable fact of life - because this Arctic town has outlawed dying within its icy limits. If you’re nearing your final breath, the local authorities will arrange for you to be flown elsewhere to shuffle off this mortal coil. The reason? The permafrost is so unforgiving that bodies refuse to decompose, preserving corpses indefinitely. It’s an eerie time capsule effect, and given the fear of spreading old diseases, Longyearbyen prefers to keep its graveyards empty.
Canada’s Apology Act: In Canada, "sorry" may be the nation’s unofficial catchphrase, but thanks to the Apology Act, it’s not an admission of guilt. Enacted in 2009, this law ensures that saying sorry after an accident or mishap can’t be used against you in court. In a land where politeness reigns supreme, the Apology Act gives Canadians the freedom to apologize as much as they want without worrying about facing legal consequences. It’s a law tailor-made for a country where "sorry" often slips out even when someone else steps on your foot.
Britain’s Handle the Salmon Act: In the UK, you’d better watch your body language around fish - particularly salmon. The Salmon Act of 1986 makes it illegal to handle a salmon "suspiciously." While the act primarily aims to prevent illegal fishing practices and poaching, the law’s wording opens up an interesting ambiguity. What exactly constitutes "suspicious" behavior when holding a salmon? Is it shifty eyes, a covert glance, or perhaps a trench coat and fedora combo? The legislation doesn’t clarify, leaving it to the imagination. One thing’s clear: in the realm of fish-related crimes, the UK is not taking any chances.
No Chicken Crossings Allowed: In Quitman, Georgia, USA, the age-old question of why the chicken crossed the road has a legal twist - because technically, it’s not allowed to. The law bans chickens from freely wandering across roadways. While it's likely designed to keep both traffic and poultry in check, it also seems like a bureaucratic way to take the punchline out of the famous joke. If no chicken can legally cross the road, maybe we’ll finally stop asking why.
Don’t Be Silly With Your String: In Los Angeles, California, Halloween comes with a $1,000 warning - if you’re caught with silly string, that is. The city’s strict ban on the colorful, plastic-goo substance is no joke. Since 2004, LA has forbidden the possession or use of silly string on October 31st, aiming to prevent the streets from turning into a sticky, fluorescent war zone. Turns out, the scariest thing about Halloween in LA isn’t the costumes - it’s the threat of a silly string citation.
Japan’s Waistline Law: Japan’s “metabo” law, short for metabolic syndrome, takes corporate wellness to an entirely new level. Enacted in 2008, the law requires companies to measure the waistlines of employees over 40 as part of their annual health checkups. If a man’s waist exceeds 33.5 inches or a womans surpasses 35.4 inches, the company faces fines from the government. So, while some companies offer casual Fridays, in Japan, they’re more likely to hand out measuring tapes with the employee handbook.
Switzerland’s Toilet Flush Law: In Switzerland, even your bathroom habits are subject to strict regulation. If you live in an apartment, flushing the toilet after 10 PM is technically off-limits, as the sound of running water is considered noise pollution. The law is part of Switzerland’s broader effort to keep the peace – literally - ensuring that not even a late-night flush disturbs the nation’s commitment to tranquility. It’s a reminder that, in a country where everything runs like clockwork, even bodily functions are expected to follow the rules. So, if you’re living in a Swiss apartment, discretion is not only polite - it’s required by law.
Don’t Go Strapless in Melbourne: In Melbourne, Australia, fashion choices are a bit more regulated than you might expect - at least for men. It’s illegal for a man to wear a strapless gown in public, making this one of the more peculiar gender-specific wardrobe restrictions out there. Why strapless gowns, in particular, became a legal sticking point is unclear, but it certainly raises questions about the overall legal definition of “appropriate” attire.
China’s Ban on Time Travel: In China, hopping into a time machine is more than just science fiction - it’s against the law, at least on screen. Chinese media outlets are prohibited from depicting time travel. The ban, enacted in 2011, stems from a desire to maintain a strict interpretation of history, where tampering with the past - even in fictional form - is seen as potentially harmful.
So, while audiences elsewhere might dream of rewinding the clock or altering key moments in history, in China, time travel is off-limits - a curious and somewhat frightening intersection of sci-fi and state-sanctioned censorship.
We figured it couldn’t get much weirder or more Orwellian – and if it does, we’re not sure we want to know about it – so this seemed a good place to wrap up. And you thought bureaucracy was just about taxes! Turns out, the powers that be have bigger plans, meticulously crafting rules for the most minute details of our lives, leaving us to wonder: is all this really necessary? Are they solving problems, or just inventing new ones?
But perhaps there's some strange comfort in these oddities. Maybe in a world full of unpredictability, where chaos seems to lurk around every corner, these bizarre laws act as a bizarre form of structure. They’re like the universe’s version of a speed bump, slowing us down just long enough to laugh at how ridiculous it all is. After all, who among us hasn't been tempted to dress a pig up like Napoleon or sneak around suspiciously with a salmon for kicks?
In the end, the world’s legislative absurdities serve as a reminder that we’re all just trying to figure it out, one ridiculous law at a time. So, whether you’re filling out applications for your next life or pondering why a goldfish deserves a better view than you do, remember: there's humor in the madness, and sometimes, that's all we need to keep going.
Hahahaha, people are weird and governments made ip of people are even weirder!!!!
I do so love the Norwegians! Cant die here, and if you are planning to die, go to France!
So the real question is have….. where ugly is prohibited and a photo of Trump Tower is shown….. you didn’t clarify, is it a thing of beauty or is it an example of ugly?