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Join date: Mar 7, 2021

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Jun 12, 202612 min
In Corn We Trust: A Love Letter to Bourbon
The glass sat in the late afternoon light like a small act of alchemy. Amber, gold, copper - depending on the angle and the ambitions of the person describing it. Around the world, people have spent centuries staring into such liquids and finding stories there. Kingdoms have risen and fallen over less convincing miracles. Entire industries have been built on the premise that what happens inside a wooden barrel is not merely chemistry, but something approaching magic. We are a species that...

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Jun 5, 202611 min
Festival of Popular Delusions Day: A Worldwide Celebration of Absolute Nonsense
Civilization, despite its impressive collection of satellites, investment portfolios, and artisanal oat milk establishments, has always rested upon a foundation of deeply questionable assumptions. For thousands of years, otherwise intelligent people have stared confidently into the chaos and announced they had everything under control right before being eaten by plague, invaded by barbarians, or persuaded to purchase decorative tulip bulbs for the price of waterfront property. Humanity’s...

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May 29, 20269 min
America: Now With Artificial Coloring
There are certain things Americans do not merely produce but unleash. Not content to manufacture automobiles, breakfast cereals, or low-rise denim, America has always approached exportation the way a televangelist approaches salvation: loudly, optimistically, and with the unwavering conviction that everyone else will eventually come around. Somewhere, right now, an executive in a glass tower is approving the international rollout of a bacon-flavored cinnamon latte with the serene confidence...

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