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Kindness Isn't a Four-Letter Word

Updated: Nov 18, 2023

Monday, November 13th, was World Kindness Day - better late than never. An international day of recognition created by the World Kindness Movement, a Swiss NGO, to promote kindness throughout the world. World Kindness Day presents the opportunity to reflect upon one of the most important and unifying human principles. It’s a day devoted to the positive potential of both large and small acts of kindness, and to promote and diffuse this crucial quality that brings people of every kind together.

world kindness day

And in a world that is seeming to be spinning out of control, where headlines scream of chaos, conflict, and confusion, the concept of kindness often appears as a distant, forgotten virtue. Indeed, there are those who, sadly, would argue that instead of a virtue it’s actually become a vice.


The relentless pace of modern life, coupled with the constant bombardment of information, can easily overshadow the simple yet profound act of being kind. In this tumultuous era, it’s easy to forget that kindness isn’t just a utopian ideal; it’s a universal language that transcends borders and cultures. In the midst of the craziness that surrounds us, it becomes increasingly important to shift our focus to the positive, to rediscover the power of compassion, and to explore the ways in which different societies around the globe express and embrace kindness in their own unique and sometimes peculiar ways.

calm chaos

The purpose of World Kindness Day as outlined by the World Kindness Movement is “to highlight good deeds in the community focusing on the positive power and the common thread of kindness which binds us and to encourage kindness to prevail over hatred.” Since its creation more than two decades ago, the day has achieved truly global notice; events associated with the day have attracted participants from every inhabited continent. These have included activities such as concerts, dance mobs, and the distribution of “kindness cards.”


Today we’re going to unravel some of the diverse traditions and rituals that celebrate kindness in a sampling of countries. From the elaborate ceremonies of Japan to the warmth of hospitality in the Middle East, kindness manifests itself in myriad forms, challenging the perception that it’s a mere afterthought in the hustle and bustle of daily life. Granted, some of the examples might leave you scratching your head. But, as we navigate through this journey, we’ll discover that, indeed, kindness isn’t a four-letter word – it’s a powerful force that has the capacity to reshape our world, one small act at a time.


Indonesia - #1: The Charities Aid Foundation (CAF) is a UK based non-profit that annually publishes the World Giving Index which provides insight into the scope and nature of giving around the world. It judges generosity by focusing on three aspects of giving behavior asking, in the past month, have you:

- Helped a stranger, or someone you didn’t know who needed help?

- Donated money to a charity?

- Volunteered your time to an organization?

most giving countries 2022

In 2022, for the fifth year in a row, Indonesia was ranked by the CAF as the most generous country in the world. It topped the World Giving Index with a score of 68%. It has the highest rates of donating and volunteering in the world, more than eight in ten people donated money (84%) and more than six in ten (63%) volunteered time.


Kindness is the golden chain by which society is bound together.

Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe


South Africa – Ubuntu: While definitions of ubuntu have varied through the years, the Nguni proverb “umuntu ngumuntu ngabantu”, often translated as “a person is a person through other persons”, is most commonly used to describe the concept. In practice, ubuntu is a belief that the common bonds of a group are more important than the divisions within it.

Ubuntu

Former South African archbishop Desmond Tutu harnessed the concept of ubuntu when leading the nation’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission in the mid-1990’s. In a comment that has particular poignancy today, Tutu said that “Ubuntu speaks particularly about the fact that you can’t exist as a human being in isolation. It speaks about our interconnectedness. You can’t be human all by yourself, and when you have this quality – ubuntu – you are known for your generosity.”


Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people.

Franklin D. Roosevelt


Japan – Omotenashi: Often described as the world’s most polite country, Japan’s tradition of selfless hospitality is the product of a tradition known as omotenashi. Literally translating to “spirit of service”, this cornerstone of Japanese culture is grounded in the centuries-old ritual of the sado (tea ceremony), which requires a high degree of attentiveness on the host’s behalf to ensure their guests’ every need is fulfilled, without expecting anything in return. The guests, conscious of the host’s efforts, respond by showing an almost reverential gratitude. Both parties thus create an environment of harmony and respect.

Omotenashi

Omotenashi is a way of life in Japan. Staff in shops and restaurants greet customers with a warm “irasshaimase” (welcome) as you step inside; shinkansen (bullet train) cleaners bow to boarding passengers; and taxi drivers open the doors for passengers automatically. An even greater level of politeness is shown to people outside one’s own group, with foreigners (gaijin – literally “outside people”) typically accorded lavish courtesies.


What wisdom can you find that is greater than kindness?

Jean-Jacques Rousseau


Italy – Caffe Sospeso: In Naples, the tradition of a suspended coffee - or caffe sospeso - began in working-class coffee shops over a hundred years ago: a coffee-drinker would pay for two coffees but only consume one. Someone who needed coffee but could not afford it could later inquire if there was a sospeso available and they would be served for free.

caffe sospeso

The giver and receiver would never meet, but coffee - seen as a necessity for life in the city - would be enjoyed both by those who could afford it and those who need it. During the Eurozone crisis a few years back, the idea spread throughout Italy, as well as to other European countries.


Kindness is the only service that will stand the storm of life and not wash out. It will wear well and will be remembered long after the prism of politeness or the complexion of courtesy has faded away.

Abraham Lincoln


Greece – Philoxenia: In Ancient Greece, the proper provision of hospitality was considered a commandment of the gods, specifically Zeus Xenios, the god of foreigners or strangers. Should a weary traveler arrive on one’s doorstep, the host was obliged to welcome them with food and shelter before asking any questions, whether they knew the guest or not. In return, the guest was obliged to show respect to the host via gestures such as staying only as long as necessary. For either party to fail in their obligation meant risking the wrath of the gods. And we all know how long they can hold a grudge for!

hospitality

Taken from the Greek words xenia (stranger) and philo (care for), the concept became known as philoxenia, or love of strangers (and later hospitum, or hospitality). Along with being particularly gracious in their hospitality, this tradition of kindness is kept alive today through small gestures such as offering a friendly smile to a stranger or escorting a lost traveler to their destination rather than simply providing directions.


The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the greatest intention.

Kahlil Gibran


Philippines – Tulong: The Filipino word for helping those whose needs are immediate and temporary is tulong, and it can take many forms, from sharing food to money to a place to stay. While it began as a way for family members to help one another, it has expanded to include more types of giving over the years and gifts to those outside one’s family. Tulong-aral is help specifically for education, for example. Tulong was especially evident following a wave of natural disasters - typhoons, earthquakes and volcanoes - that left thousands in the island nation in need.


When you callously ignore the suffering of others, you lose the capacity to share their happiness, too.

Albert Schweitzer


New Zealand – Kaitiakitanga: There’s kindness to self, kindness to others, and kindness to the world we live in. New Zealand is a prime example of a country with a culture that recognizes this. Kaitiakitanga, meaning guardianship and protection, is the practice of kaitiaki, the Maori concept of guarding the sky, sea, and land. It is a way of managing the environment, based on the Maori worldview.

kaitiakitanga

The local iwi (tribe) appoints a person or group to act as a guardian for a lake or forest. In 2017, the New Zealand government awarded the Whanganui River in the North Island the same rights as human beings, meaning that harming the body of water now has the same penalties as harming a person.


Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

Mark Twain


Iran – Taarof: Taarof is a Persian word with Arabic roots that defines the country’s complex art of etiquette, in which the true meaning of what is said is not in the words, but somewhere beyond them. It’s a subtle dance of communication, where participants step back and forth over and over, never taking over the stage.

In December 2015, someone anonymously set up a “wall of kindness” in Mashhad, painting it in bright colors and installing pegs and hangers. Beside it, a painted message in Farsi read: “If you don’t need it, leave it. If you need it, take it.”

taarof

The idea quickly spread throughout Iran. Bakeries began leaving out baskets of bread encouraging those who couldn’t pay to help themselves and street musicians put signs by their tip jars inviting passers-by to take the money if they needed it. This movement is rooted in Persian culture and the words of ancient poets such as Rumi, who championed the virtues of kindness. This spirit of kindness is also present in the Persian art of taarof, which puts politeness first in every social interaction.


Never doubt that a small groups of thoughtful, committed people can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.

Margaret Mead


India – Seva: In India, kindness is deeply rooted in cultural and spiritual traditions. The concept of kindness is often intertwined with the principles of dharma, a Sanskrit term encompassing duty, righteousness, and moral obligations. Acts of kindness, known as “seva” or selfless service, are considered a fundamental part of one’s duty to others and are often seen as a means of spiritual growth. Hospitality is a hallmark of Indian kindness, where guests are treated with utmost respect and warmth.

India seva

There’s a famous Sanskrit saying “Atithi Devo Bhava,” meaning “The guest is God,” reflects the cultural emphasis on extending kindness to strangers. The interconnectedness of individuals is acknowledged through the concept of “Vasudhaiva Kutumbakam,” which translates to “The world is one family.” This philosophy encourages people to extend kindness beyond familial and societal boundaries, fostering a sense of shared humanity.


Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness.

Seneca


After looking into the rich tapestry of kindness across the globe, it becomes abundantly clear that kindness is not a four-letter world. It is a thread woven into the very fabric of humanity. In a time when headlines are dominated by chaos, hatred, and division, the stories from Indonesia to Greece and from Japan to Italy remind us that kindness isn’t only a remedy for the chaos but also a beacon of hope in our shared human experience. A universal language that transcends borders, cultures, and ideologies.


Kindness is a force that binds us together, offering a counter-narrative to the discord that dominates our attention. The stories from these countries illuminate the resilience and power of kindness in the face of adversity. It shouldn’t be just an abstract concept but a lived reality.


In the end, this brief journey around the world shows that kindness isn’t just a fleeting sentiment or a utopian ideal – it can be a transformative force capable of reshaping our world, one small act at a time. So even though we missed World Kindness Day by a few days, hopefully these stories and quotes will inspire us all to be kinder from time to time. After all, it’s really not that difficult to be kind. For some of us, just not being a dick would be a good start….



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joe.carrillo
17. Nov. 2023

So with all this kindness throughout the world, in various cultures and religion, where does extremism come from? The most Interesting is New Zealand’s action of awarding a river human rights. And then in Iran, a country that the Western world views and dangerous offers kindness. Which goes to show that people from all over the world are generally kind and good natured. Then, a few power hungry, unkind, uncaring (generalization of course since I really don’t know what’s I their hearts) can taint kind people.


Thank you for this article, because a little kindness goes a long way and everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt (well, maybe not everyone, but that’s a topic for another day).


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